Wimpy water fountains

What the piddle is this crap? Click on these pathetic pictures. Ever try to get a drink from one of these dribblers? Good luck. Unless you have the snout of a bonsai poodle, that water is strictly off-limits. My campus is full of these ED-afflicted chihuahua-appeasing spouts. Why aren't alarm bells going off in some hydraulic command and control center to save the thirsty public from this torture? The wankers who designed these machines obviously had two overriding architectural concerns:

1. Provoke high levels of agitation in the water-consuming elements of human society.

2. Encase the entire unit in combat-grade armor, because said elements will attack the machines in murderous fits of rage.

One day I am going to bring a sledgehammer down on that little button. We'll see if that jet doesn't gain some altitude.

And how is it NOBODY EVER FIXES these wimp fountains? All over the world maintenance crews are proactively fixing things. There are no pothole vigilantes staking out the highways with fingers poised on cellphone buttons. There are no squawkbox vigilantes keeping an ear on the audible crossing signals for the blind. Nobody calls the city to report when that tweeter breaks and blind people have to start dodging trucks in the middle of the intersection. Things just get fixed. I want those spouts fixed, and I'm not going to LIFT ONE FINGER to make that happen, do you hear?